Recently I have been encountering women who have literally left the marriage because of the tithe and other abuse. However, I did not realize how painful this has been to some women and after receiving emails and a heartfelt encounter. I now realize how much the enemy is using this to attack the home. It definitely is a topic in need of being addressed. I have always been taught to encourage your spouse to pay the tithe but if the spouse refuses don’t push it. You pay your own and let the spouse do as he pleases. Yet what do you do when you have set your career aside and the family depends on the sole income which he brings into the home. You know you want the two of you to walk together and agree.
Leaving your spouse to do what he wants appears to hurt the family. You are trying to set an example to your children and you find yourself torn when it comes to whether your family is doing the right things before God. Recently a friend revealed her hurt that her spouse whom she married always understood that they were to pay the tithes. However, since she has become the stay at home mom and is no longer the bread winner, he has decided to change the way the tithe will be handled and his priorities toward his family.
It hurts her to her heart because she is no longer in a position to truly pay currently without his support. She has left the home because she will not go against what God has decreed in Malachi 3. She knows God did not say pay the tithe after all else is paid and she has chosen not to stand down. There are definitely other factors in this situation but tithing is one of the priorities she does not want to back down from.
Many women have heard the questions: Why do you stay? Do you love the man more than you love yourself? The Bible says that when one goes astray, the good shepherd will leave the flock to go after the one. It also advises one not to leave the unbelieving spouse unless he is willing to leave. All these are reasons many women remain and there are the children of course who did not ask to be in the crossfire and are the main priority.
However, women need their men to understand that just like they seem to find sports a priority in their lives, or their pets a priority. Women find honoring God first a true priority and should not be expected to compromise the tithe or their honor to God. If she is being led by God, don’t expect her to lose her crown or to be led by something other than God. Honor her desire to let God lead her and not the enemy.