It is not uncommon today for teens to have friends from outside of their school. Instead of just staying in their immediate neighborhood, they are biking, taking a bus, or asking parents to drive them to nearby cities to meet ip with their friends.
Parents may think they know where their teen is, but this is not always the case. Telling a parent that they are spending the night at one friend’s, they get another parent to drive them across town to a party, working out their ride home however they can.
Although this may not reflect your teen’s behavior, the point I am making is that it is important to know who your child’s friends are. I would even go further to suggest that you also get to know who their parents are, that you might have a sense of the type of values they uphold in their homes.
In your home, there may be strict curfews, as well as restrictions around alcohol and other mind altering substances. But in other homes, parents will sometimes turn a blind eye to their kid’s entertainment activities, including drinking, and unsupervised access to bedrooms. (If you catch my drift)
I believe that it is a wise parent who asks to meet all of their teens friends, and gets contact information for any sleep-overs or parties, including the address, phone number and the name of the adult in charge of the event. Although your teen may balk at the idea, it is responsible behavior to call and introduce yourself, verify the details, and get a feel for who that parent is.
The boundaries you set for your teen show your caring. Do not give in to pressure when presented with the claim that “all the other parents let their kids …” (fill in the blank) I can assure you that there are plenty of parents who still expect their children earn their trust.
*Note: If your teen is struggling, I can help you to discover the cause and remedy it. Help is just a phone call away! Click on the following link for more information. – Sandra Dupont–LA Teen Therapist