This topic has been a heated and controversial topic for decades. There is not a simple answer to the question of whether you should date a best friend’s ex. But, there is a “code of ethics” to think about in this equation. As best friends go, this should be a topic of discussion before an occasion ever arises. Best friends should casually explore this question to find out where each other stands on the topic. There may be a general “hands-off” policy between friends even if the relationship is over. There is no reason to not be open and honest with your best friend. Also, do you really want to date someone that your best friend quit dating for a reason? Remember, a friend does not always say the bad things about someone that they loved. Your friend also may still have some feelings for the person even though they do not want to admit it. Is it really worth dating this person and possibly causing a relationship with a best friend uncomfortable or ending a very solid friendship. Losing a friend over this could cause tremendous guilt or a sense of emptiness for severing a friendship that meant something. Why would anyone want to take the risk, especially if you have been best friends for years?
Women generally are born with a natural nesting instinct. Which means if a woman is comfortable with a man, then feelings do change when they become intimate. Thus, creating a natural bonding connection with someone. It might create an awkward situation to know the person you are now dating and being intimate has also been intimate with your best friend. If a person has insecurities, they may wonder if your new relationship is comparing you with your best friend. Ouch! That could be a very uncomfortable situation. Also, this could be a hot point if there ever is a disagreement between you and your new relationship. People say things when they are angry that they usually would not normally say. They know how to push each others’ buttons.
There are times when a best friend may think more of the previous relationship as a brother/sister relationship which would never be on the “love commitment” level and thinks that you may be better suited to date them. If everyone is comfortable with the idea, then this may be an occasion where it might be acceptable.
Sometimes, lust gets in the way instead of friendship. This is a very dangerous road. When an ex and a best friend have too much to drink and end up together on an intimate level, these types of hook-ups usually do not last for the long-term and end up where best friends are no longer best friends. Eventually, the person ends up losing their new significant other and their best friend. The best friend looks at it as a trust issue. Can they ever trust you again? Would you be interested in their new relationship as well? Why can’t you find someone they haven’t dated?
In some cases, there are people who just like the conquest. There is a thrill in hooking-up with someone that they should not. The feeling of doing something that is forbidden by general members of society. If this is a pattern within your dating habits, it may be difficult for you to find love or a trusting relationship. There is something to the idea of Karma. Someday, it could happen to you. So just be careful and date smart. Think before you act. Friendship is very valuable in this life and compromising the relationship could be detrimental.