Soooo last night we got to see our beloved designers get to remake some hideous bridesmaids dresses. Did you hate yourself as much as I did when you saw a couple of them before the re-do and you’re like, “hey that’s kinda cute!” I did. Obviously I lack a whole lotta taste…
Anyway, yes, there were some gowns to be redone, and the designers got to pick the ones they wanted to tackle. And it was the boring sketching, going to Mood, blah, blahsville. Ivy’s still cracked out insane, everyone hates Michael C. and Gretchen still won’t stop talking.
There is one plus sized model in the bunch that Michael D. was stuck with, and everyone acted like having somebody bigger than a size 4 was a fate worse than death. “Oh poor Michael” “That’s gonna be hard,” “What did he do to deserve that?”…
Guys she’s just a plus sized girl. It’s ok. Nobody’s gonna catch fat from her. She wasn’t even that big. But geeze they made it sound like Michael D. had to fashion a dress for a hippo out of a potato sack!
So after all of the critiques, Uncle Tim surprises all of the designers with a twist…they will be having a showcase where normal clothes wearing people will talk to the designers and models leaving a button in a little fish bowl to vote for their most favoritest dress.
Off to the show room we go, and lots of people are saying lots of things about these dresses, and Ivy gets her crack pipe in a knot over Michael C. talking mad amounts of trash, and telling people not to vote for her.
Hello Pot? Meet kettle…
I don’t get all the Michael C. hate on this show. Yeah, he’s snipy and a bit bitchy, but nothing outrageous like Ivy and Gretchen. Ivy talks MAD amounts of shiz, and has never won a challenge. And who cares if Michael has any sewing skills? it’s a design competition, not a stitch-off.
Anyway, Michael C. tells Ivy to stuff it, because he didn’t talk any trash, and it’s all very “What-EVER” and Jr. High.
Who cares about all that stuff anyway, let’s talk about the runway…
So we have Heidi and some crazy tights, Nina “I hate you all” Garcia, Queen of Fashion Michael Kors, and Cynthia Rowley’s unfortunate white sandals and black socks.
And boy, don’t we appreciate our professional models after watching these amateur cows walk down the runway like hulking linebackers, right?
Still too many people on this show to talk about, so let’s just deal with the best and worst. At the top we had Christopher, Mondo, and Michael C. Poor Christopher just gets slaughtered, and I really like his stuff! I didn’t see anything wrong with his dress’ skirt. But they like to pick on him for some reason.
My beloved Mondo was robbed. Robbed I tell you! That MOD lil black and pink number out of Barbie’s Pepto Bismol Nightmare was inspired, beautifully created, and should have won hands down. Jerks.
And Michael C.’s dress had no business being in that top 3. Casanova’s riding pant and blouse should have been there instead. That black and lace weird looking thing belonged in a Tim Burton movie. I wanted to yell “Beetlejuice!”. But whatever, the judges loved it and I need to have my eyes checked apparently.
So cue the heavy sighs and eye rolling from the rest of the designers when Michael C. comes back victorious. Now he’s won as many challenges as World’s Leading Authority™ Gretchen and everybody is very angry about this. Basically wanting to know what sexual favors are required to win and be a complete hack.
Let’s talk about the bottom 3.
Michael D. was stabbed to death over that Hairspray monstrosity made out of curtains. Nina actually looked like she was going to be physically ill. Then again she always looks like that because she eats kittens.
Valerie’s dress was such a complete clustertruck it’s goes beyond explanation. Can we take her zippers away from her now? Please?! There’s zippers completely freaking everywhere and it’s just becoming obnoxious. But she was spared…
Oh and Peach. Our Chicago gal done good, Peach. Poor peach did something so completely hideous, and she knew it too. I mean, the dinner napkin ruffles that Michael Kors called an “Avocado Goiter” when he clearly doesn’t know what a goiter even is…(it’s in your neck, dear, not your ass) and Peach was sent to the gallows never to be seen or heard from again. So that’s sad. She was starting to really grow on me. She had me at “Good China” and “She gets a little hippy…don’t we all”…buh-bye Peach, you will be missed.
So that’s that for this week of Project Runway…til next week peeps!