Sheriff Forester: “Whatever you do, don’t go into the water!”
What’s good: The carnage when the piranhas attack is fun to watch.
What’s not good: It’s hard to see underwater scenes.
What happens: Summer movies like Inception prove that audiences have become more sophisticated than ever before. We expect to witness something we haven’t already seen. Then out comes Piranha 3D which proves that there will always be a place for naked women and gore. This film begins with hundreds of teenagers who have descended upon Lake Victoria for Spring Break. Nearby, old fisherman Matt Boyd (Richard Dreyfuss) relaxes in his boat. A minor natural occurrence unleashes the piranha from their prison into the lake. What happens next is a sign of things to come.
On land, Deputy Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) tries to maintain order in the town. She needs her son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) to watch his little brother and sister every year at Spring Break. Jake is tired of always missing out on the fun and plans to find a way to join the festivities. Derrick (Jerry O’Connell) is the self-proclaimed director of smut ready to capture as many topless girls on camera as possible. Danni (Kelly Brook) is one of the beautiful women he wants to film. Meanwhile, Deputies Forester and Fallon (Ving Rhames) check out Matt Boyd’s abandoned boat. What they find forces them to try to close down the lake sending hundreds home. Julie calls home to make sure her family is far away from the action. Unfortunately, Jake has already left with Derrick and Danni. Kelly (Jessica Szohr) joins them against his wishes. To make matters worse, Jake’s little brother and sister have also gone into the water. Scientists come to investigate recent underwater activity in the lake. Their investigation leads to the beginning of the bloody massacre from these flesh-eating fish. Deputy Forester must find her children before the piranha do.
This film never takes itself seriously. Derrick is more worried about his private parts and his film than the piranha. We soon find out what happens to his ‘privates’. The fish attack brings death, destruction, torn limbs, and lots of blood. It is hard to see what exactly is going on below the water. All you see is thrashing water and lots of things moving around. Then everything turns red. The last action scene between Jake and Kelly was very good. Plenty of topless girls will not disappoint. You will certainly want to know more about Kelly Brook (if you don’t already) after this film. The movie ends abruptly right as you think more is coming. Answers to many questions will come in a sequel.
Bottom Line: Piranha 3D is just an excuse for naked women and bloody gore. It should have gone straight to video.
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