Jenny McCarthy has it figured out. She’s quoted as saying “I knew if I wanted to grow, I needed to make myself happy before I could begin to have an equal relationship with another man.”
“You can’t love another until you love yourself” is one of the truest sayings around. You’ll know this once you experience it. You’ll feel like you’ve discovered the secret to happiness!
The problem is, a lot of people think they’re loving themselves , but they’re really just coping, surviving. When you love yourself, you treat yourself well. I’m not talking about spending a wad of cash on a new car, I’m talking about making choices in your life that align with your values, that move you toward your goals, that make you feel alive and proud to be who you are.
If you find yourself crying frequently, frustrated at the world for all that has gone wrong in your life, you’re not loving yourself. You’re making the wrong choices, and unknowingly sabotaging yourself.
The work begins with you. I guarantee you will not have a happy, healthy, loving relationship with another person until you learn to love yourself. But how do I do this you ask? Here are some suggestions to get you started:
- Make a list of your values. We are fulfilled when we live a life that is in alignment with our values. You need to be clear on these so you know whether your choice are moving you toward or away from your values.
- Stop telling yourself the lies. In the coaching world we call them “limiting beliefs”. They are beliefs that were formed in early childhood, yet we continue, as adults, to believe them. The most common limiting beliefs are “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not pretty enough”, “I’m not enough”. You get rid of these by rephrasing them in a positive way. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough”, every time you catch yourself whispering it to yourself, correct yourself and say “I’m perfect just as I am”. Come up with a rephrase that you’re comfortable with and repeat this to yourself many times a day. It’s a matter of retraining your brain. And it works.
- Browse your local library or book store for self-improvement books on self-esteem.
Loving yourself may not come easy, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I promise you, it will be worth your efforts as a whole new world will open up for you.
Contact Jenna for a FREE Relationship coaching consultation.
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