Lindsay Lohan has been troubled lately, as you may have heard. First, she was placed in a county jail for a series of run-in’s with the law. Then she was transported directly to rehab, something that she’s been needing for awhile now. After getting out, she was disinvited from her own film’s premiere. And now, just days later, she hits a baby-stroller with her Maserati. Read on for the details, FAIL enthusiasts and gentle Examiner readers…
You may have heard that Lindsay Lohan is back on the streets following a brief stint in rehab (which was, of course, preceded by a brief stint in jail). You may have also heard that story about Lohan being disinvited from the premiere of her latest movie, Machete, which opened in second place at the box office this week (which must be Lohan’s most successful film in years, though she’s only in it for a few minutes). But have ya heard the one about Lindsay Lohan hitting a baby-stroller with her car? It’s awesome.
Radar Online broke the story just before the weekend: Lohan was out, driving around in a Maserati that was loaned to her upon getting out of rehab (let that sentence sink in for a few moments). On Wednesday afternoon, she went ahead and drove straight into a woman pushing a stroller across an intersection’s crosswalk. Here’s how one eyewitness described the awesomeness: “There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street,” he said. “Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them. Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going.”
As expected, despite the numerous eye witnesses who claim to have seen the same, Lohan has denied that such an event ever took place, telling RadarOnline.com, “I don’t know what you’re talking about“. Another person who claims to have witnessed the accident– a photographer, who was apparently not quick enough to get a series of photos of the incident, perhaps enough to make the world’s greatest flipbook– says that he yelled, “Whoa, what the f–k are you doing?!” at Lohan when the event transpired.
There seem to be conflicting reports over how fast Lohan was traveling when she hit the stroller. According to some, it was “one mile per hour“. The woman pushing the stroller, however, claims that she was going “ten to fifteen miles per hour“, definitely not one, though we have doubts over whether or not the baby (and the mother pushing said baby) would have survived if they were plowed into by a Maserati traveling at 15mph. Obviously, all involved are fine now (hence the “Funny News” tag rather than the far-less-amusing “Run Over Baby News” tag).
Stay tuned for more wacky Lindsay Lohan news, funny videos, reviews, interviews, and more in the near future. If you’ve got something you’d like to add to the discussion, leave it in the comments section below. If that’s not your thing, hit the “Subscribe” button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox, free of charge, as they’re published. To play us out, here’s an official Lindsay Lohan music video, which is its own breed of horrible: