Foster Parents; Windows to the soul.
Part 2 of 3
Foster parenting; an introduction to the windows of the soul.
In this series we are looking at the disruption of American families. In part 1 we had just made the statement; some foster parents have the wrong goals in front of them, that of adoption.
When reunification is just not possible the only time a foster parent should think of adoption.
Sometimes, if you work with the parents, they get to know you and know that they will still have a part in the lives of their child (ren) helps ease the pain. If they cannot keep on the straight and narrow so to speak then we can help them as well as their children accepatance and love can work miracles.
However, always keep in mind that often separation from their children was not necessary and/or founded.
Now let us go on; the title of this article is windows to the soul.
There are two moments in fostering that will always remain in your mind and heart; no one can ever take these moments from you as a foster parent.
The first is when you look into through the windows of the soul into the eyes of this small little child and see heartache, pain, sorrow and sadness all this in someone so little, you see a soul lost inside. How does one go about removing this look from these precious little eyes, as a parent you know? The Answer is love, understanding, acceptance, and security.
The second moment you remember is when you look into the eyes of this precious little one and you find something missing; the look of hurt, pain, heartache has departed. The windows of this little soul reflect a look of happiness, contentment, love and acceptance.
Yet there is something still there?
You must always remember that this contentment also brings a feeling of disloyalty to the parent (s) still lost. This little child has a parent that they have left behind, there is guilt there and he/she feels that they have somehow let their biological parents down. How can they be happy in the home of another, when the parent still not successful, not on their feet, not able to come and get them, this the thinking of this little person who somehow has become the adult in place of their parent.