We all know women who seem to think that if they could find the right man, their lives would be better. In fact for some it doesn’t even need to be the right man, just a man willing to help them straighten out their lives in some way. Perhaps things are financially difficult, or even emotionally stressful for some reason, but the one thing that never makes everything better is expecting your happiness and solutions to life’s problems to come from out side yourself.
A lot of us these days, men and women, are never shown or taught how to handle the stresses of live well. By time we’re in our mid-30’s, the financial mistakes of our youth are catching up to us and the disappointments of the real world start to hit us. We find ourselves alone emotionally, burden financially, and wishing for the lottery win to change our life. It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Our parents should have taken seriously the job of preparing us for life rather than protecting us from it. If we love our children, we should be aware of the same thing, only now we aren’t sure exactly what it is we’re supposed to teach them to prepare them. Our parents may not have known, either, and perhaps that explains the lack.
What doesn’t work is running desperately and waiting for the person who’ll solve your problems to come along. People who are overwhelmed with problems tend to abuse alcohol and drugs more often to escape the bad feelings. They also tend to ignore the problems, causing them to get bigger and messier. For women, many spend so much time looking for the man that fixes things, that they end up making bad decisions about sex and creating an atmosphere where no one thinks much of them in the real involvement way. After all, no one wants to marry the town slut who has more bills that a bird does feather.
Women can’t wait for someone to come along and help them clean up the emotional void in their life, or their messes. We can always try turning to our parents and asking them for help and guidance, but we have to do it on our own. Confidence attracts real men, neediness only attracts people who have male sex organs. Self respect comes from knowing that we are able to handle life day to day and year to year.
Men have never created strong women just by being in their lives. Women can be stronger with a man who supports them emotionally and intellectually and works with them, but women have to begin from a position of being strong on their own. In the end, men can only help keep us as strong as we can be, or they can break down the strength we have. Choose carefully.
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