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My dad lost his job and our house is in foreclosure. My friends all think my parents have a lot of money because we live in a big house. Well, now my parents have ordered a trailer, and we’re moving into a trailer park. I can never have a friend over again. How can I stop them? I’m 14, and this will ruin my life.
It’s a shame that your father decided to lose his job and move you into a trailer park instead of letting you live in your big house. How rude of him.
Perhaps you’ll understand the situation better if you consider that this is not about you. Believe it or not, your parents may actually have motivations other than a desire to embarrass you – or ruin your life.
If you’re embarrassed, how must your father feel? He’s having trouble supporting his family, and I’m sure that causes him a lot of pain. Most men with families take a lot of pride in bringing home the bacon. Taking care of their families makes men feel good about themselves. Sudden unemployment or other circumstances that prevent a man from earning a living can weigh on him in a fashion impossible to explain to someone who has never had another person depend on his ability to make money.
You asked how you can stop your parents from moving into the trailer park. Well, unless you can come up with the money to cover the cost of the mortgage and the maintenance of the house, you can’t stop it. Your parents are doing this out of necessity, not out of choice.
This is harder on your parents than it is on you, because they know it’s their job to support you. And while you may not enjoy the luxuries you once did, I expect they will continue to support you. Acting resentful and blaming them for something they cannot control will not help the situation. If you want to make your parents feel guilty, I’m sure you can. But have some class, and don’t do it.
Giving your parents a hard time will not change the situation, other than to make life at home more stressful for everyone. Do your best to be understanding and learn to live with the new situation. You didn’t start out in a trailer, and if you give your parents a little time to regroup, hopefully you won’t end up in one, either.
My ex and I are expecting a child in February. I am afraid that he will try to gain custody. He is a drug user and has some major temper problems, and I don’t know if I can trust him with our child. Should I be worried? Please give me some information or Web sites I can access to learn about this issue.
The courts aren’t perfect, and you will sometimes hear about custody being granted to the wrong parent. But for the most part, the judges try to do what’s best for the child. They do take into account such issues as drug use or a history of violent behavior.
In custody battles, the mother generally starts out with an advantage for both biological and social reasons. But that advantage is not absolute. If you are competent to take care of your child, it is unlikely that your ex will gain full custody. However, it is also unlikely that you will receive full custody unless the court deems your ex dangerous. In most cases, if biological parents fight for custodial rights, they will up with some form of joint custody.
You can do all the Internet research you like. But you are not a lawyer, and neither am I. And a lawyer is what you need. You’ll end up hiring one eventually to help you during the custody battle. If you retain a lawyer now, you’re likely to make better decisions – and receive far better advice than I or any other nonlawyer can give you.
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