There is an interesting phenomenon among humans. We all claim to want monogamy, and then quite often we can’t make it work for whatever reason.
As our life expectancies have risen, so have our divorce rates. As we are tending to live longer our ability to stay in long term, committed relationships has decreased.
But even if you think about the days when people only lived for thirty years, there were still cheating problems. Cheating on ones spouse or lover has always been an issue, and one that has a time old tradition of making people kill for revenge.
What happens makes for a healthy and monogamous relationships? In my experience this is what you need to focus on.
In every relationship there is a point where you decide to try to make it into something bigger or end it. What to do in this situation? If you choose to try and turn it into something bigger, commit to that. Have your deal breakers, but beyond that you should be committed to that descision. I heard a wonderful explanation for committment and I think it applies to both if you choose to make a relationship work or choose to make it work forever with marriage. Committment means you still do what you said you’d do even when the feeling you said it in has passed away. Making a distinct committment and knowing the terms will make you less likely to cheat or leave for no real reason.
When you’re feeling distant from the one you love tell them. Tell them exactly what you need to make you happy and find the compromise so you both can be happy.
If you meet someone else, and there’s chemistry, and you’re being tempted. Run far, far, far away. If you’ve made a choice to be monogamous, then you need to avoid all temptation. If you really think that you have met someone better, it’s time to be a jerk, walk away, and pursue something new with this person.
Monogamy is a huge part of relationships and their success but it can be the hardest thing you have to do. So take the time to create the best relationship you can and have a plan to deal with this huge part of that relationship. Be communicative with your other and make sure you have both made the committment and are ready to take the steps to see that committment through till you either decide to get married or stop trying.
Here’s another article that gives some more interesting tips on how to stay monogamous.